I will use it for vigilante justice. First, I will wrap the jacket around a shovel and wait outside the Washington Post. I will patiently wait until Paul Farhi steps out. I will hit him with the shovel until he screams, "Old Glory Grill is the home of the TONY KORNHEISER porterhouse steak! And not the Paul Farhi Steak!"
Next, I will head over to the USA Today. Unfortunately, since you have not named names, I will simply have to beat everyone with your Tony Kornheiser jacket shovel.