Frequently Asked Questions of Me, Bill

Q. Do you have a tape of (Episode description here)?
A. I usually do not, since I do not regularly tape the show. If you need a copy, what I would suggest is that you go to the NewsGroup alt.fan.letterman . Someone in there might help you.

Q. Are you the same guy who writes those Late Show Impressions I read in the Letterman NewsGroup?
A. Yes, the one and only.

Q. Are you really Mike McIntee parading around as some guy named Bill Lehecka?
A. No. Although we've never been in the same room together, so you never know.

Q. Do you know how I can get an autograph of (blank)?
A. Well, who?

Q. You know what I mean, doofus.
A. OK, you don't have to get snippy. But then again, the above wasn't a question.

Q. Do you know when guests will be on the show in advance?
A. I only know who's going to be on in the coming week. I don't read too far into the future.

Q. How did you get so many tickets? Do you have any pointers how to get tickets?
A. Wait, I'm not a machine! One question at a time...

Q. You're a real jack-ass, aren't you?
A. Yes. :-)

Q. How did you get so many tickets to the show?
A. To be honest, I've been really lucky in the amount of times I've gone to see the show. The way to get tickets has changed so much over the past few years, that if you want the straight scoop on getting tickets, go to the official Late Show ticket area.

The next question here is one I get in two ways, I'll give you both.

Q. How did you get that picture of you behind Dave's desk?
A. Well, Pepe. I flew into New York City. I was invited to the green room, then I asked if I could take a picture behind his desk. Then I sat my ass down in the chair, and got two pictures. Are you trying to imply that it's a fake?

-or-

Q. Is that picture of you behind Dave's desk real or a doctored fake?
A. The picture is 100% real. The doctored fake you're referring to is Cher.