Sometimes, the rules can be difficult to follow. I've even called in and broken the rules. To help you out, This Website Stinks enlisted the help of the show's own Gary "Big Time" Braun to spell out, point for point, the rules for calling the show. Gary?:
Phone rules - Break them, and be "Banned...from the Tony Kornheiser Show" (not that we take any calls anymore):
- Do not ask "How ya doin'?", or any version thereof (note: Don't do this, you'll just hate yourself for several days after it's done)
- Do not refer to Sterne, Andy and me as "fellas" or "the gang"
- Do not call Tony "Pal", "Buddy" or "Chief"
- Do not refer to calls you made or 'takes' you presented on other shows
(ie. "Like I told Dan Patrick yesterday...")
- Do not tell Sterne you are wearing women's underwear
Follow those rules, and you make Mr. Tony smile, unless you still stink, then you'll be mocked endlessly.
- Why does Mr. Tony keep on saying "Clean Out the Mousecages, Harry, and Carry the Urine Specimens Upstairs?" Who's Harry, and why is his job to carry urine specimens?
- Why does Tony always end his show by saying, "If you're out on your bike tonight, do wear white?" Does he really care about my safety?
- Who sings the Mailbag theme?
- Who plays the background music while Tony reads e-mails?
- Why does Mr. Tony sometimes say "clah-sick" or "epick" or even "dun-key"? Doesn't he know how to pronounce these words? And why would I want to be "racked?"
- Speaking of Junior, why does Mr. Tony call him Junior?
- Why do some people call Mr. Tony Satchmo? Is he really Louis Armstrong?
- What's the deal with the Rich Eisen/Bea Arthur story?
- What is Mr. Tony referring to when he talks
about a "vacation" back in July, 2002?
- Who is Maggie, and why does Tony talk about her?
- Why wasn't Junior on Tony's old show? Was he banned from ESPN?
- What's the deal with "Affirmation, Baby?" I mean, it's humorous and all, but what was the genesis of the term?
- What's a head? Is Mr. Tony being offensive?
- Does Junior really know everything?
- Who is LaSooz?
- Who is the
Cheeseboy? And why does Mr. Tony want
him dead???
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